A pregnancy is the beginning of many hopes and dreams. With my first son, it was nothing but hopes and dreams. My husband and I were filled with excitement and anticipation of starting a new family.
When our first son decided to arrive eight and a half weeks early, many of those hopes and dreams were immediately shattered.
Upon his early arrival, something new emerged to direct our hopes and dreams toward...the hospital and the neonatal intensive care unit. I was no longer pregnant, yet felt like I was and I felt like my hopes and dreams had been snatched right out from under me...literally I guess...
Our first son was about an hour west of us, where he was transported almost 12 hours after his arrival, due to the difficulty in finding him a bed. I was discharged 3 hours after he arrived. He had arrived in such a hurry, I did not have time for an epidural (not that I wanted one) or any painkillers for that matter and therefore due to an uncomplicated delivery, I was able to walk free and clear within 3 hours. Of course I stayed at the hospital until the transport ambulance took him away at 10 AM the next morning and my husband and I went back to our house to pack some things and make a few quick phone calls to let family and friends know of the sudden change of events.
We then drove the hour up to the hospital our son would call home for the next five days. I remember arriving. The weather was damp and chilly, but it was Spring, which to me is a symbol of hope and change. I remember feeling pretty calm, perhaps kind of numb about how things had just transpired and upon our arrival to the hospital I felt a new sense of hopes and dreams.
My hopes and dreams of having a baby at full term, greeting family with our new baby in my arms in the hospital room ,were gone. Now, at the site of the grey exterior of the building, with bright lights on inside, I felt like this place would be the place to develop new hopes and expectations. Our greatest hope at that very moment was that our son would make it through this uncertain time with ease.
Our son was able to be transferred out of this hospital, closer to home, only five days later. This was a relief, as we could at least sleep in our own beds and be close to our support network. We had a very strong 31 weeker and only 3 and a half weeks later, our firstborn was home! To have a preemie home so quick and without complication was like a dream!
Our second experience with pregnancy and childbirth again dashed many of my hopes and dreams. Knowing I was already high risk prior to finding out I was actually pregnant with two babies, meant that I knew I would have many hopes and dreams and they would most likely change along the way.
My main hope was that I could carry my twins to at least 36 or 37 weeks. I know these were high hopes, but we have to think positive, right?
By the time I was 27 weeks and 4 days along, I knew in my heart and mind that my babies were coming early. I focused my mind on the hope that we could make it to at least 31 weeks and 3 days, like the twins' big brother did.
Again, all these hopes in my mind were altered. With my twins arriving at 27 weeks and 5 days, my greatest hope was that they would survive.
I came to the understanding that hopes and dreams are constantly changing. To focus too specifically on any one hope or dream, especially when it comes to child bearing and child rearing, can be very disappointing when things don't pan out.
In a matter of 3 or 4 days it went from hoping my babies could go "twins full term" to hoping they would survive, especially Twin B.
I remember arriving at the hospital the second time around. It was a different hospital, known to be home of one of the best NICUs in Canada and great for multiples. We had hoped to deliver here if going pre-term...but that was not to be! Anyway, upon arriving at this hospital it was such a sense of deja vu. Different hospital, yet same Spring weather. Damp ground, sun trying to peak out and another grey exterior to a monstrosity of a building. Yet, there was that pang of hope pounding in my heart and mind. This building held promise and I held hope that those in this hospital would nurse my premature sons to health and give us the happy ending (or "beginning," would be the better word) we really wanted.
I think the moral of my story is not to give up on your hopes and dreams. Although they may change or you have to adapt them to your ever-changing reality, they are what keep us going, keep us strong and looking forward to the future.
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do."
~ Pope John XXIII
25 Apr 2011
11 Apr 2011
Meet Preemies 2 & 3 or Twin A & B
The following Monday, I was not at work. Instead, I was two days into what would become a very long stay in a Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.
The previous Friday, I got my second corticosteroid injection and went home to put my feet up and relax as much as possible. My saviours, mom and mother-in-law, came to my house and cleaned it top to bottom to help me feel like something was in my control. The house was becoming more and more untidy as the weeks of my pregnancy went by, during which I was working full time, as was my husband. A spic and span house always seems to take the backburner during pregnancy and for a while after the birth of babies.
The next day, Saturday, my hubby looked after our almost two year old son, while I went out and did a few things and met up with a friend at a cafe. Seeing as I was told to take it easy, I did. I took some time to browse childrens' stores and wander the mall. I didn't have an agenda or a schedule to rush to achieve, I was just simply taking some "me time."
I carried a litre bottle of water with me and some snacks in order to ensure I stayed hydrated and took small breaks off my feet throughout the morning and early afternoon. I called to let my husband know I was fine and I was taking things easy.
I met my friend at 3:00 and after that I went home. As I was driving along I noticed something unusual. When I would come to a stop light or slow down and then accelerate, my stomach would get a mild tightness to it. It seemed like the babies were slipping and sliding around in there, which is the best way I can describe it. I picture it as they were moving forward with the momentum of my car as I accelerated.
The feeling happened a few times as I was driving, but I wasn't in pain. When I would begin coasting and no longer accelerating the sensation would stop. Weird.
I got home around 4:30 and went about the usual getting ready for dinner and hanging around the house on a Saturday. Around 6:00 or so, I got on the couch to have a power nap, which I think is pretty common for pregnant women, let alone one carrying twins.
I couldn't settle down and get comfortable and I watched my husband working in the backyard through the window. He was cutting the grass. It was a beautiful, sunny, Spring day. It was May 1, 2010.
By about 7:45 PM, the "accelerating" sensation had started again, but I wasn't in the car anymore! Something else apparently was accelerating and that was the speed at which my twin babies wanted to show their lovely faces!
I called my midwife and OB, who "shared care" of me and my babies. I told them of my funny sensation and the doctor suggested I come in for an assessment. Talk about deja vu.
I very, very quickly packed a bag for myself, which was pretty much organized and just had to be thrown in a bag. Our neighbour came running over to watch our son, while my in-laws came from across town. My hubby went to park the car after dropping me off at the back exit to go in. By this point I knew the hospital pretty well and avoided the busy areas and went directly to the labour and delivery ward.
I wheeled in my overnight bag and told one nurse I found after a short search, that I was there to see my doctor. She asked, "What for?" Apparently, I don't give off the impression that I am in labour or that there should be any sense of urgency when dealing with me. This is another drawback to not having labour pain. You aren't taken very seriously.
My doctor knew I was heading in, but guess where he was off to...dinner! This man had bad timing. Again, I didn't seem to be in labour, so I guess to him, my situation seemed like it could wait.
My midwife was front and centre, asking me questions and helping me out as she could. The nurses that were getting me into a room for assessment took their time, asked me questions about what brought me there, etc. All the while, I continued to hear my doctor's name being paged over and over.
By 8:15 PM my doctor arrived and explained he would do an assessment to be sent to the lab to see if it indicated I may be having my babies in the next week or so. I suppose hormone levels change, which can be identified. The goal was to do this, then see what needed to happen next. The doctor started to get ready to do the assessment and said he didn't need to do the test, as I was already 2cm dilated!
Upon this announcement, staff snapped to it and began running around to get a transport setup for me to send me to the nearest, best-equipped hospital to deliver high-risk twin births. They wanted me sent there for observation and bedrest to start.
Suddenly, my husband and I were alone in the labour and delivery room and I asked him to go out and remind the staff how quickly our first son came after arriving at the hospital. Eighteen minutes!
My husband ran to bring his car closer to the amublance dock, as he would have to follow me down. He also called my mother and his mother to update and tell my mother to meet us at the hospital we would head to.
My nurse came in and I asked her what would happen if I suddenly had to deliver, while on route to the hospital. She calmly told me the EMTs would have to pull over and deliver the babies!! I said something along the lines of, "Yeah, okay, that's not happening!!" She explained it happens sometimes and that the EMTs are trained to deal with that type of situation. No matter what anyone said to me at a time like that, I was not open to the idea of having premature babies born on the side of a highway, without any real medical interventions or support available, except what was in the ambulance (and that's not much.)
Meanwhile, I was now beginning to feel more than the "acceleration feeling" and I told my nurse that I was pretty sure I was dilating, and dilating fast. She said, "There, there, dear." I assume she was thinking I was just beginning to become upset at the idea of having babies in the back of an ambulance. I explained to her that I know my body and it was beginning to feel the exact same way things unfolded with my first preemie. I know she thought I was nuts. My midwife, who was with me with my first son, knew I was very aware of my body.
This all evolved over about 15 minutes. I told my nurse to get the doctor in to check on me, because I was extremely confident I had dilated even more. Keep in mind, I was not raising my voice, I was not screaming or crying in pain. I was holding a calm, rational conversation with my nurse. The doctor came in and confirmed (again) my suspicions. I was fully dilated!! It took me approximately 15 minutes to dilate from 2 cm to 10cm! My doctor and the staff were astonished and all hell broke lose.
I was told I was being wheeled to a high risk delivery room on the same floor, as I was now beginning to feel the need to push. I was so far along that the staff would not be able to get me down to an OR in time. I was wheeled through the door of my room, out into the corridor, down toward the high risk room. It was like a bumper car ride, yelling voices and so on. My bed/stretcher was being wheeled so fast and we were bumping into door jams along the way. Once we were in the delivery room, I was then forced to climb off the bed, upwards towards a higher up table. I almost sat on what was a broken stirrup metal pole and my husband was not amused.
From what I recall, the room was drab and very stark and cold. Lots of metal finishes around, but definitely what I would consider a sterile and well-prepped room. I was told it was reserved only for high risk deliveries. I guess I was up on an operating table, which wasn't explained to me. I always knew there was the great likelihood that I would have to have a c-section to deliver the babies. Up until this point the only moment I cried a bit, was when it occurred to me I would have to be knocked out by the anesthetist. I didn't want to be asleep when my babies were born! It took a lot of will power to give in to the idea of having to have an epidural and the very likely c-section. Now I was fully aware I may not even be awake or have any control when my babies arrived.
By then I knew I was past the point of return to be able to get an epidural to complete a c-section. A c-section, however, was not an option because my body was working too fast. I delivered my two babies without drugs and without a c-section.
No sooner did my water break, then Baby A came out. It was completely insane in the delivery room and I was absolutely unaware that the first baby had arrived. My midwife, who was to my left, suddenly disappeared and came back to say he is "okay." I looked up at my husband, to my right, and thought, no he's not alright by the looks of his face and tears. My husband clarified, Baby A, is okay. I lost it!
The staff assumed I knew he had been born and didn't joyfully announce, "It's a boy!" as you might usually hear, or I've only ever seen in movies. My husband said Baby A is born and I snapped at the entire staff in the room, "You have to talk to me! I'm the one having the babies!!" I was so mad. The pressure of my water breaking completely disguised the fact that the baby was on the way out at the exact same time, which I could not feel. Now I became worried that the doctor hadn't actually been ready for the baby and that the baby had hit the table or something disasterous. I was assured the doctor was there the whole time guiding the baby out.
Four minutes later Baby B arrived. He had to be externally turned a little bit, as at the last ultrasound 2 days prior, he had been laying a bit sideways, head downwards.
At 9:50 and 9:54 PM, May 1, 2010, our twin boys were born.
The next steps were to stabilize and arrange for transport to the nearest available Level III NICU. The one we wanted had already been notified and we were told there would be two beds waiting, thankfully! We didn't want to go through the drama of finding a bed like we did with our first son.
The previous Friday, I got my second corticosteroid injection and went home to put my feet up and relax as much as possible. My saviours, mom and mother-in-law, came to my house and cleaned it top to bottom to help me feel like something was in my control. The house was becoming more and more untidy as the weeks of my pregnancy went by, during which I was working full time, as was my husband. A spic and span house always seems to take the backburner during pregnancy and for a while after the birth of babies.
The next day, Saturday, my hubby looked after our almost two year old son, while I went out and did a few things and met up with a friend at a cafe. Seeing as I was told to take it easy, I did. I took some time to browse childrens' stores and wander the mall. I didn't have an agenda or a schedule to rush to achieve, I was just simply taking some "me time."
I carried a litre bottle of water with me and some snacks in order to ensure I stayed hydrated and took small breaks off my feet throughout the morning and early afternoon. I called to let my husband know I was fine and I was taking things easy.
I met my friend at 3:00 and after that I went home. As I was driving along I noticed something unusual. When I would come to a stop light or slow down and then accelerate, my stomach would get a mild tightness to it. It seemed like the babies were slipping and sliding around in there, which is the best way I can describe it. I picture it as they were moving forward with the momentum of my car as I accelerated.
The feeling happened a few times as I was driving, but I wasn't in pain. When I would begin coasting and no longer accelerating the sensation would stop. Weird.
I got home around 4:30 and went about the usual getting ready for dinner and hanging around the house on a Saturday. Around 6:00 or so, I got on the couch to have a power nap, which I think is pretty common for pregnant women, let alone one carrying twins.
I couldn't settle down and get comfortable and I watched my husband working in the backyard through the window. He was cutting the grass. It was a beautiful, sunny, Spring day. It was May 1, 2010.
By about 7:45 PM, the "accelerating" sensation had started again, but I wasn't in the car anymore! Something else apparently was accelerating and that was the speed at which my twin babies wanted to show their lovely faces!
I called my midwife and OB, who "shared care" of me and my babies. I told them of my funny sensation and the doctor suggested I come in for an assessment. Talk about deja vu.
I very, very quickly packed a bag for myself, which was pretty much organized and just had to be thrown in a bag. Our neighbour came running over to watch our son, while my in-laws came from across town. My hubby went to park the car after dropping me off at the back exit to go in. By this point I knew the hospital pretty well and avoided the busy areas and went directly to the labour and delivery ward.
I wheeled in my overnight bag and told one nurse I found after a short search, that I was there to see my doctor. She asked, "What for?" Apparently, I don't give off the impression that I am in labour or that there should be any sense of urgency when dealing with me. This is another drawback to not having labour pain. You aren't taken very seriously.
My doctor knew I was heading in, but guess where he was off to...dinner! This man had bad timing. Again, I didn't seem to be in labour, so I guess to him, my situation seemed like it could wait.
My midwife was front and centre, asking me questions and helping me out as she could. The nurses that were getting me into a room for assessment took their time, asked me questions about what brought me there, etc. All the while, I continued to hear my doctor's name being paged over and over.
By 8:15 PM my doctor arrived and explained he would do an assessment to be sent to the lab to see if it indicated I may be having my babies in the next week or so. I suppose hormone levels change, which can be identified. The goal was to do this, then see what needed to happen next. The doctor started to get ready to do the assessment and said he didn't need to do the test, as I was already 2cm dilated!
Upon this announcement, staff snapped to it and began running around to get a transport setup for me to send me to the nearest, best-equipped hospital to deliver high-risk twin births. They wanted me sent there for observation and bedrest to start.
Suddenly, my husband and I were alone in the labour and delivery room and I asked him to go out and remind the staff how quickly our first son came after arriving at the hospital. Eighteen minutes!
My husband ran to bring his car closer to the amublance dock, as he would have to follow me down. He also called my mother and his mother to update and tell my mother to meet us at the hospital we would head to.
My nurse came in and I asked her what would happen if I suddenly had to deliver, while on route to the hospital. She calmly told me the EMTs would have to pull over and deliver the babies!! I said something along the lines of, "Yeah, okay, that's not happening!!" She explained it happens sometimes and that the EMTs are trained to deal with that type of situation. No matter what anyone said to me at a time like that, I was not open to the idea of having premature babies born on the side of a highway, without any real medical interventions or support available, except what was in the ambulance (and that's not much.)
Meanwhile, I was now beginning to feel more than the "acceleration feeling" and I told my nurse that I was pretty sure I was dilating, and dilating fast. She said, "There, there, dear." I assume she was thinking I was just beginning to become upset at the idea of having babies in the back of an ambulance. I explained to her that I know my body and it was beginning to feel the exact same way things unfolded with my first preemie. I know she thought I was nuts. My midwife, who was with me with my first son, knew I was very aware of my body.
This all evolved over about 15 minutes. I told my nurse to get the doctor in to check on me, because I was extremely confident I had dilated even more. Keep in mind, I was not raising my voice, I was not screaming or crying in pain. I was holding a calm, rational conversation with my nurse. The doctor came in and confirmed (again) my suspicions. I was fully dilated!! It took me approximately 15 minutes to dilate from 2 cm to 10cm! My doctor and the staff were astonished and all hell broke lose.
I was told I was being wheeled to a high risk delivery room on the same floor, as I was now beginning to feel the need to push. I was so far along that the staff would not be able to get me down to an OR in time. I was wheeled through the door of my room, out into the corridor, down toward the high risk room. It was like a bumper car ride, yelling voices and so on. My bed/stretcher was being wheeled so fast and we were bumping into door jams along the way. Once we were in the delivery room, I was then forced to climb off the bed, upwards towards a higher up table. I almost sat on what was a broken stirrup metal pole and my husband was not amused.
From what I recall, the room was drab and very stark and cold. Lots of metal finishes around, but definitely what I would consider a sterile and well-prepped room. I was told it was reserved only for high risk deliveries. I guess I was up on an operating table, which wasn't explained to me. I always knew there was the great likelihood that I would have to have a c-section to deliver the babies. Up until this point the only moment I cried a bit, was when it occurred to me I would have to be knocked out by the anesthetist. I didn't want to be asleep when my babies were born! It took a lot of will power to give in to the idea of having to have an epidural and the very likely c-section. Now I was fully aware I may not even be awake or have any control when my babies arrived.
By then I knew I was past the point of return to be able to get an epidural to complete a c-section. A c-section, however, was not an option because my body was working too fast. I delivered my two babies without drugs and without a c-section.
No sooner did my water break, then Baby A came out. It was completely insane in the delivery room and I was absolutely unaware that the first baby had arrived. My midwife, who was to my left, suddenly disappeared and came back to say he is "okay." I looked up at my husband, to my right, and thought, no he's not alright by the looks of his face and tears. My husband clarified, Baby A, is okay. I lost it!
The staff assumed I knew he had been born and didn't joyfully announce, "It's a boy!" as you might usually hear, or I've only ever seen in movies. My husband said Baby A is born and I snapped at the entire staff in the room, "You have to talk to me! I'm the one having the babies!!" I was so mad. The pressure of my water breaking completely disguised the fact that the baby was on the way out at the exact same time, which I could not feel. Now I became worried that the doctor hadn't actually been ready for the baby and that the baby had hit the table or something disasterous. I was assured the doctor was there the whole time guiding the baby out.
Four minutes later Baby B arrived. He had to be externally turned a little bit, as at the last ultrasound 2 days prior, he had been laying a bit sideways, head downwards.
At 9:50 and 9:54 PM, May 1, 2010, our twin boys were born.
The next steps were to stabilize and arrange for transport to the nearest available Level III NICU. The one we wanted had already been notified and we were told there would be two beds waiting, thankfully! We didn't want to go through the drama of finding a bed like we did with our first son.
31 Mar 2011
High Pain Threshold
I have been told I have a high pain threshold. When I was 13 I dislocated my knee cap and the ambulance EMTs told me I must take pain extremely well because I wasn't shedding any tears, I was just a little freaked out at the sight of my knee cap sitting in a spot it shouldn't be! Over the years I always hoped when it came time to have children that my high pain threshold would kick in and I would cruise through labour and delivery without an epidural and in little discomfort. Be careful what you wish for, is all I can say now!
In January 2010 I found out I was having twins early on at about 12 weeks. Based on the fact I had my first son 8.5 weeks early and we were unsure why, my midwife and my G.P. recommended early screening by ultrasound. I remained adamant that I wanted to have a midwife assist me in the delivery of my babies if at all possible and I had the luxury of having "shared care" between my midwife and an OBGYN.
A little while later I found out we were expecting fraternal boys. Their estimated due date was July 26, which was 3 weeks after their older brother had been due 2 years prior. Upon learning we were expecting twins I knew immediately my pregnancy was extremely high risk. It was high risk to begin with, but a second baby got thrown into the mix this time.
My first appointment to meet my OBGYN--who was also the doctor on call the night our first preemie arrived--was not until I would be 28 weeks along. I thought that was insane, since our first arrived at 31 weeks. My midwife agreed to try to get me in sooner and I was able to be accomodated. I met my OBGYN for the first time during my 26th week. He did not recommend bedrest or stopping work, just suggested to avoid stress (hahaha) and take it easy.
About a week and a half later I had just arrived to work after a restless night in bed. I mentioned to my good friend/co-worker that maybe I have should have called in sick because I just didn't feel good. I could feel the babies moving around throughout the night and physically feel/see my stomach stretching. A few minutes later, after telling my friend I felt ill, I came back from the washroom and asked her to call my OB, while I paged my midwife. My mucous plug had come out and I was not amused. With my first son, this also happened, but he stayed in for about another two months.
My OB and midwife said not to worry, it happens often, but to be safe I would be seen for an emergeny ultrasound. Hubby came to get me and off we went to the clinic.
I had the ultrasound done and the tech was happy with what she was seeing. She told me I could run to the washroom and come back and she would take some shots just for me to see the babies and provide some pictures. Once she put the wand back on my stomach, she grew quiet and asked, "Are you feeling any pain, pressure, tightening?" Uuuh-oooh. This isn't good, I thought. No, I feel some discomfort. Haha. Maybe I need to check the dictionary on the actual definition of discomfort vs. pain.
She proceeded to take the mouse and draw a straight line in a particular area of the screen and then type 1.8". I knew what this meant immediately, but she couldn't confirm it and I had to wait for the doctor to tell me, who conveniently went off on lunch! The length of my cervix had decreased a fair bit between her first look and my washroom break. I was disheartened and frustrated, as only 3 weeks earlier at that ultrasound I was told my cervical length was better than good and I should have no worries.
The concern had become that I may have had an "incompetent cervix," during the first pre-term delivery, which had gone undetected because I wasn't having monthly ultrasounds. This was one of the reasons I had monthly ultrasounds with the twins, to keep tabs on things and catch anything early. Basically, what the term incompetent cervix means, is the length of the cervix shortens too fast/early in the pregnancy, which then threatens early arrival of the baby or babies.
I had to wait around for almost 3 hours before I could get in to see the doctor, due to his lunch break and a call to the hospital that he had to deal with. It was nerve wracking for me and my family!
The doctor saw me and confirmed what I already knew. He did not seem overly concerned, but did recommend I have corticosteroid shots, meant to assist in speeding up the development of the babies' lungs. I went a couple hours later to the hospital to have this done and a second shot was done again 24 hours later.
I had asked the doctor if this now meant I should go on bedrest or stay off work at least. He said, no, see how I feel over the weekend, don't go to work on Friday (the next day) and if I feel good enough to work on Monday, go for it...
In January 2010 I found out I was having twins early on at about 12 weeks. Based on the fact I had my first son 8.5 weeks early and we were unsure why, my midwife and my G.P. recommended early screening by ultrasound. I remained adamant that I wanted to have a midwife assist me in the delivery of my babies if at all possible and I had the luxury of having "shared care" between my midwife and an OBGYN.
A little while later I found out we were expecting fraternal boys. Their estimated due date was July 26, which was 3 weeks after their older brother had been due 2 years prior. Upon learning we were expecting twins I knew immediately my pregnancy was extremely high risk. It was high risk to begin with, but a second baby got thrown into the mix this time.
My first appointment to meet my OBGYN--who was also the doctor on call the night our first preemie arrived--was not until I would be 28 weeks along. I thought that was insane, since our first arrived at 31 weeks. My midwife agreed to try to get me in sooner and I was able to be accomodated. I met my OBGYN for the first time during my 26th week. He did not recommend bedrest or stopping work, just suggested to avoid stress (hahaha) and take it easy.
About a week and a half later I had just arrived to work after a restless night in bed. I mentioned to my good friend/co-worker that maybe I have should have called in sick because I just didn't feel good. I could feel the babies moving around throughout the night and physically feel/see my stomach stretching. A few minutes later, after telling my friend I felt ill, I came back from the washroom and asked her to call my OB, while I paged my midwife. My mucous plug had come out and I was not amused. With my first son, this also happened, but he stayed in for about another two months.
My OB and midwife said not to worry, it happens often, but to be safe I would be seen for an emergeny ultrasound. Hubby came to get me and off we went to the clinic.
I had the ultrasound done and the tech was happy with what she was seeing. She told me I could run to the washroom and come back and she would take some shots just for me to see the babies and provide some pictures. Once she put the wand back on my stomach, she grew quiet and asked, "Are you feeling any pain, pressure, tightening?" Uuuh-oooh. This isn't good, I thought. No, I feel some discomfort. Haha. Maybe I need to check the dictionary on the actual definition of discomfort vs. pain.
She proceeded to take the mouse and draw a straight line in a particular area of the screen and then type 1.8". I knew what this meant immediately, but she couldn't confirm it and I had to wait for the doctor to tell me, who conveniently went off on lunch! The length of my cervix had decreased a fair bit between her first look and my washroom break. I was disheartened and frustrated, as only 3 weeks earlier at that ultrasound I was told my cervical length was better than good and I should have no worries.
The concern had become that I may have had an "incompetent cervix," during the first pre-term delivery, which had gone undetected because I wasn't having monthly ultrasounds. This was one of the reasons I had monthly ultrasounds with the twins, to keep tabs on things and catch anything early. Basically, what the term incompetent cervix means, is the length of the cervix shortens too fast/early in the pregnancy, which then threatens early arrival of the baby or babies.
I had to wait around for almost 3 hours before I could get in to see the doctor, due to his lunch break and a call to the hospital that he had to deal with. It was nerve wracking for me and my family!
The doctor saw me and confirmed what I already knew. He did not seem overly concerned, but did recommend I have corticosteroid shots, meant to assist in speeding up the development of the babies' lungs. I went a couple hours later to the hospital to have this done and a second shot was done again 24 hours later.
I had asked the doctor if this now meant I should go on bedrest or stay off work at least. He said, no, see how I feel over the weekend, don't go to work on Friday (the next day) and if I feel good enough to work on Monday, go for it...
28 Mar 2011
Meet Preemie #1
My experience with premature babies has been a whirlwind. Married June 2007, with one preemie arriving 11 months later and two more preemies arriving one month before our 3rd anniversary!
My first preemie miracle entered my life in May 2008. He arrived eight and a half weeks early, much to everyone's surprise.
Prior to having my first preemie baby, I had never really known anyone personally that had dealt with the premature birth of a child.
I felt alone and as though my friends and family couldn't really identify with all the mixed emotions my husband and I were living with. I felt I had been robbed of the ideal baby arrival. My ideal and really the only thing I'd ever considered included a trip to the hospital, the anticipation and process of labour and delivery, and then a beautiful baby for everyone to come in and "ooh and aah" over, while I sat in my hospital bed with a big, happy new mommy smile on my face.
Instead, my reality consisted of not feeling too well one evening, something just not right. I called my midwife who told me to be on the safe side to go into the hospital to meet her there to be checked out. Most likely I was experiencing braxton hicks contractions, as I was at 31 weeks.
I took my time packing a small bag, just in case. I was oblivious to the fact that I was in labour, as I just didn't expect it. I expected this baby to be late. I didn't feel what you hear about your entire life from mothers, friends or from anyone else. I just "didn't feel right." I honestly thought I had some terrible bowel obstruction or kidney stones, as the discomfort began to get worse after I spoke to my midwife.
I arrived at the hospital with my husband, who parked the car, while I went in to check in at the desk. My husband and I didn't have any concerns about me being left alone...because I wasn't in labour, right? The lady at the desk didn't seem too concerned either by my overall demeanour, as she certainly didn't rush to get me checked in. LOL.
We arrived at 11:35 P.M. in the parking lot and our beautiful baby boy arrived at 11:53 P.M. He arrived 18 minutes after we got to the hospital!
Once I got up to the labour and delivery ward everything moved quick. I was examined, only to be told I was fully dilated and I didn't even know it!! How could I not feel the pain I'd always been told was the worst pain a woman could go through? Why were there no symptoms?
My son was born within a few moments and he was rushed into the nursery for high needs care. He was breathing on his own, but about half an hour later he began "grunting." Grunting is the actual term the doctors used and is in reference to the small grunting noise a baby may begin to make if having a hard time breathing. He was then intubated to aid him with his breathing. I still had yet to meet my little boy. When he was born they whipped him to my left side, showed him to me and then took off to get him checked out.
My first preemie miracle entered my life in May 2008. He arrived eight and a half weeks early, much to everyone's surprise.
Prior to having my first preemie baby, I had never really known anyone personally that had dealt with the premature birth of a child.
I felt alone and as though my friends and family couldn't really identify with all the mixed emotions my husband and I were living with. I felt I had been robbed of the ideal baby arrival. My ideal and really the only thing I'd ever considered included a trip to the hospital, the anticipation and process of labour and delivery, and then a beautiful baby for everyone to come in and "ooh and aah" over, while I sat in my hospital bed with a big, happy new mommy smile on my face.
Instead, my reality consisted of not feeling too well one evening, something just not right. I called my midwife who told me to be on the safe side to go into the hospital to meet her there to be checked out. Most likely I was experiencing braxton hicks contractions, as I was at 31 weeks.
I took my time packing a small bag, just in case. I was oblivious to the fact that I was in labour, as I just didn't expect it. I expected this baby to be late. I didn't feel what you hear about your entire life from mothers, friends or from anyone else. I just "didn't feel right." I honestly thought I had some terrible bowel obstruction or kidney stones, as the discomfort began to get worse after I spoke to my midwife.
I arrived at the hospital with my husband, who parked the car, while I went in to check in at the desk. My husband and I didn't have any concerns about me being left alone...because I wasn't in labour, right? The lady at the desk didn't seem too concerned either by my overall demeanour, as she certainly didn't rush to get me checked in. LOL.
We arrived at 11:35 P.M. in the parking lot and our beautiful baby boy arrived at 11:53 P.M. He arrived 18 minutes after we got to the hospital!
Once I got up to the labour and delivery ward everything moved quick. I was examined, only to be told I was fully dilated and I didn't even know it!! How could I not feel the pain I'd always been told was the worst pain a woman could go through? Why were there no symptoms?
My son was born within a few moments and he was rushed into the nursery for high needs care. He was breathing on his own, but about half an hour later he began "grunting." Grunting is the actual term the doctors used and is in reference to the small grunting noise a baby may begin to make if having a hard time breathing. He was then intubated to aid him with his breathing. I still had yet to meet my little boy. When he was born they whipped him to my left side, showed him to me and then took off to get him checked out.
Our hospital is not equipped with a NICU and therefore he had to be transported out to another hospital with a Level III NICU. There was talk of flying him out to Ottawa, Kingston or even Buffalo, where beds were available! First came the shock of my baby's very early arrival and now there was the shock that we may have to let our baby go in a helicopter without his parents to a NICU hundreds and hundreds of kilometres away or even into the U.S.! I was mortified and my husband began preparing his mind to drive a very long trip to meet up with our baby.
Thankfully, our baby was able to find a bed about 100 kilometres away and in a city with a Ronald McDonald House operation. We were very thankful for this sudden change of events!
After five days in a Paediatric Critical Care Unit, which was able to provide dedicated 24 hour nursing care, just as a NICU would have, our son was able to move to a Level II NICU near our home.
Our son was lucky, and after about a week of CPAP to aid in his breathing, the new focus to get him home was getting him nursing and gaining weight.
Our boy was able to come home when he was 3 weeks and 5 days old--35 weeks gestation.
My next blog will be about our twins' early arrival, just shy of two years after our first preemie arrived.
Thanks for reading!
25 Mar 2011
Random thought on potty training
Note to self: Don't put your potty training boy in overalls if he doesn't know how to get them off!
24 Mar 2011
Welcome to Twintrospectives!
Welcome to Twintrospectives! After an 11 month rollercoaster ride, filled with ups and downs, turmoil and joy, I can finally say I have a good grasp on the realities of my family life with three young boys and have some time to share my thoughts along the way. This blog will be introspective and my outlet to discuss observations of family life and the world around us.
My twin boys are almost one and I wonder where the time went. After spending over 3.5 months in a Level III neonatal intensive care unit (NICU,) which felt like an eternity, the rest of the year--although extremely busy with a jam packed calendar--has felt like a breeze.
I hope to provide other parents of premature (preemie) babies the opportunity to discuss and ask questions, discuss anything and everything "multiples," talk about parenting kids whether you've got "singletons" or "multiples," and see where else this blog takes me.
Please join me on this new journey and share your thoughts and comments along the way! :)
My twin boys are almost one and I wonder where the time went. After spending over 3.5 months in a Level III neonatal intensive care unit (NICU,) which felt like an eternity, the rest of the year--although extremely busy with a jam packed calendar--has felt like a breeze.
I hope to provide other parents of premature (preemie) babies the opportunity to discuss and ask questions, discuss anything and everything "multiples," talk about parenting kids whether you've got "singletons" or "multiples," and see where else this blog takes me.
Please join me on this new journey and share your thoughts and comments along the way! :)
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