Today, after 16 months, I re-joined the morning rush hour to head into work.
I had planned and re-planned my first day back to work in my head and how I would strategically pull off having a shower, drying my hair, and straigthtening my hair all before the twins woke up. (Big brother was at his grandmother's house for the night to help us out a bit.) In my mind I would get these three tasks done and then get the babies up, put them in their high chairs with their morning bottle, get their daytime bottles mixed up for the babysitter, feed the babies, then get dressed afterward to ensure I didn't get any baby splatter on my good work clothes.
Last night I triple-checked that my TV alarm would click on at the right time. Checked that the time on the TV was actually set for AM and not PM and so on. I didn't want to screw up my first morning back to work!
My sleep was restless and even though I didn't feel stressed out or worried about my first day back, I think just the idea of sleeping in and ruining "The Plan," was keeping me from sleeping well. When I say, "sleeping in," all I really mean is sleeping to our usual 7:15 or 7:30, which would have had me at least 45 minutes behind schedule. Not good!
Twin A had other ideas anyway and he let it be known at 5:55 AM that he was ready to get up. This was so unusual for him to do and I really do think that he could tell something was up. These babies usually sleep at least 11 hours! There he was in bed, jibber jabbering away, waiting for someone to come get him.
"The Plan" was already destroyed! I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet! :) Instead, both babies had their bottles in bed, which their Daddy made, while I had a shower. Amazingly, we were able to pull off the rest of "The Plan," getting them fed in their high chairs and getting dressed and out the door at 7:43...2 minutes ahead of schedule. *Big Smiles*
We got the babies over to their babysitter's house at 8:00 on the dot. My hubby joined me to officially meet the babysitter and know where to go in the event of a "please come pick up your kid" request, if I couldn't deal with a potential problem with one of the kids!
Off my husband and I went in different directions after dropping off the twins and I made it to my office with ten minutes to spare before the official start of my day.
My first day back went very well. I felt right at home again, as though I hadn't actually been gone all this time. Since the twins arrived so early, 16 months ago, I really hadn't had the opportunity to do the usual slow wind down and wrap up of my job all those months ago. One day I was there, the next I wasn't. I think this is why I felt like I hadn't actually been gone that long. My memories of the final few days at work before my sudden departure were very fresh in my mind. I can remember several of the clients I was working with, conversations I had been having with them and so on. It's kind of like my work-life was at a stand-still in my mind...but in reality, my how things have changed!
I have a lot of new things to learn and I will definitely be kept on my toes over the next few weeks, learning the many changes that have occurred over the last year and a bit. I think I will be hitting the sack as soon as I can when I come home in the evenings because all this new information is going to be draining. I am, however, looking forward to taking on this renewed challenge! Today sped by very quickly, which I was amazed by. I was reading, refreshing my memory, and learning new things so quickly, so I didn't have time to stop and look at the clock all that much.
I did pull a few serious mommy-brained moves today and one for sure left at least one co-worker scratching her head. Hehehe. First off, I forgot my wallet and had no lunch prepared and no lunch money, so I had to drive back home to get my wallet. Once home I ate leftovers from the fridge, so that worked out okay. I drove back to work and parked in a temporary parking spot, so I could carry in one of my work boxes I had brought home during my mat leave. I left my driver's side door open, while I went to the back and got my box out of the trunk. I then set the box down on the curb next to me and opened the front passenger door, grabbed my nice steamy Tim Hortons coffee, shut the door, armed the car with my remote key and walked away.
About 20 minutes later I received my first phone call on my office extension and it was my co-worker friend, asking if everything was alright. Of course it is, I said...why?? She tells me she was worried about me because she just passed my car and saw the driver's door wide open, but I wasn't anywhere to be seen!! What??!! Did you shut it, I asked? No! What?!?! OH MY GOD!! I had to run for it as fast as possible, which is next to impossible in the style of thong sandal shoes I was wearing! How ridiculous! Why would my van remote lock thingy "honk" when I thought I was locking up all the doors, while one door hung wide open? That makes no sense to me. Like I said before, I am not really a fan of my van...so this just adds to my lists of why not to like this van! Yes, it was really dumb of me to leave the door wide open, but why did the locks engage and the van "honk" if it wasn't really secured? No sense...
The van was fine, my change still remained in the change slots, my parking pass was not stolen, and most importantly, my 3 kids' carseats were still in there, nice and secure. All I could envision as I ran to my van was having to replace $700+ in carseats!
I do have to wonder why the person who parked next to my van didn't bother to shut it. I also wonder if they reported to anyone at City Hall, where I was parked, that their was a suspicious van in the parking lot. I wonder. I imagine that everyone minded their own business and went about life like nothing was out of the ordinary. I think that's pretty sad.
My co-worker said she didn't shut the door because she didn't want to put fingerprints on the door, in case there really was something wrong! I hear that. I get that. She did call me and found I was okay. That's cool.
Anyway, those were my two mommy-brain episodes today on my first day back to work. The bottom line is I did make it to work on time, my twin babies were content at their babysitter's, eldest son had an awesome time at a pool with his grandmother and my hubby and I were able to work so well together this morning and this evening to make our new reality work! I also got a parting gift this evening from the babysitter, which was fresh mini meringues with custard and fruit on top. I think I should move into this woman's house...I'd eat really well!
31 Aug 2011
25 Aug 2011
One Year Anniversary
This past weekend we celebrated our 3rd and final 1st Homecoming (Discharge) Anniversary! This final celebration seems to stand out the most. One year ago after several months of waiting, wishing and hoping, we brought home Twin B to make our family whole and living under one roof.
It's hard to believe one year has passed since the twins came home! I feel like I can recall just about every single day of our NICU stay in 2010. The time in the NICU felt like we were on slow motion or our life had been left on pause and then eventually shifted into standby!
Then winter came...On a normal, uninterrupted morning I would get myself ready (not including a shower or food for myself) and three kids ready and out the door in about an hour and forty-five minutes. That's nuts! Breakfast was on the road or at Nana's for our 2 year old. I missed the days of showering, getting myself ready, getting my 2 year old ready and out in much quicker fashion.
Sadly, there were no Mom and Baby events for this Mama or these babies.
Although the first year was extremely busy and tested my abilities and determination as a mother, I am proud of how hard my family and I worked to achieve this very special milestone. I am thankful and glad I was able to have the opportunity to take them on or have them at the house for almost 300 appointments. There was a time just a little over a year ago I was not sure I'd get the chance at all. :)
Throughout their first year there have been many memories, but aside from our final Homecoming, there were two especially memorable experiences this first year as a family of five. First, there was Christmas, which I've always loved to celebrate. December 2010 was probably my happiest Christmas ever and it was so exciting to have well babies to celebrate a First Christmas with. In actuality, they did have their first bout of the flu, so they were a little groggy, but we started our Christmas Eve family dinner tradition anyway. They were the best gift that Christmas!
Our second memorable experience this past year was definitely our first family trip. Off to a cottage for a week. No air, no shower in the cottage, but 3 little boys, a lake and a boat is all that we needed to have an awesome time!
It's hard to believe one year has passed since the twins came home! I feel like I can recall just about every single day of our NICU stay in 2010. The time in the NICU felt like we were on slow motion or our life had been left on pause and then eventually shifted into standby!
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| First hour home together August 20, 2010 They've officially invaded each other's space! |
During the year after discharge our life has been anything but slow. I have managed to get my kids to 298 appointments in the year since they were discharged. Yes, that's what I said...298. That seems insane, doesn't it? As I've said before, just because you've left the NICU does not mean you will no longer have a connection to the medical world. In the first few months I was seriously running on auto-pilot. Sleep, wake, nurse, bottle, shower (maybe), drive, sit in waiting rooms, fill in paperwork, paperwork, paperwork and on and on and on! Usually my first meal of the day consisted of a bagel or a sandwich by around 2:30 or 3:00, when most of my appointments were winding down for the day and I was heading back out on the road. This is why I can now say, without a doubt, pack a snack and some bottled water. I started to get the hang of doing this after a couple of months. The first few months I was still trying to figure out how to get two babies and my 2 year old toddler out the door, get the 2 year old to Nana's or a babysitter's and to our appointments on time.
Sadly, there were no Mom and Baby events for this Mama or these babies.
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| Getting caught up on some snuggling with each other |
The times that these events run are when I'd be sitting in a waiting room or helping with physiotherapy or other activities for the twins. I enjoyed seeing my babies grow and learn over the months, but I did miss interaction with other "normal" parents in normal settings.
Although the first year was extremely busy and tested my abilities and determination as a mother, I am proud of how hard my family and I worked to achieve this very special milestone. I am thankful and glad I was able to have the opportunity to take them on or have them at the house for almost 300 appointments. There was a time just a little over a year ago I was not sure I'd get the chance at all. :)
Throughout their first year there have been many memories, but aside from our final Homecoming, there were two especially memorable experiences this first year as a family of five. First, there was Christmas, which I've always loved to celebrate. December 2010 was probably my happiest Christmas ever and it was so exciting to have well babies to celebrate a First Christmas with. In actuality, they did have their first bout of the flu, so they were a little groggy, but we started our Christmas Eve family dinner tradition anyway. They were the best gift that Christmas!
Our second memorable experience this past year was definitely our first family trip. Off to a cottage for a week. No air, no shower in the cottage, but 3 little boys, a lake and a boat is all that we needed to have an awesome time!
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| Hanging at the park, August 2011 |
This past year I have taken well over 5000 pics of my 3 cuties, watching them all grow. My photography gene has really kicked in since having kids. My camera keeps a running count of all the pictures I take on it, which I think is hilarious. It really puts into perspective what a camera addict I am! I can understand why my 3 year old no longer wants me to take pictures and I have to ask his consent to get him to smile for the camera these days! LOL. :)
The end of one year is bittersweet. My babies have grown stronger, are learning and starting to achieve many milestones at a quicker pace, but I will also be returning to my full time job in one week. I'm looking forward to seeing how our second year together unfolds, with my husband and I running 3 kids to their respective daycares, getting to work and hopefully not pulling all our hair out in the process. :)
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| Future Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg? |
11 Aug 2011
Fire It Up!
Yeah...I just made a Busta Rhymes reference...and on to today's thoughts...
I've been blogging a few months now and it has become something I really look forward to. It has become something fun and meaningful in my hectic life. I'd rather sit for a couple of hours at night reading others' blogs, interacting with others, and working out my own thoughts, than sit infront of the tube staring aimlessly at some T.V. show that will most likely put me to sleep.
Recently, while I was away on vacation, I received a "Fire Award" from a fellow blogger who likes to stop in and read about what I've got to say. It's a pretty awesome feeling to know that other people are out there, sharing in my blogging experience. To click on my comments section and see what people have to say is very rewarding.
I used to write in a journal for I'd say over 10 years. The difference between that and this is all the interaction, laughs and exchanging of anecdotes through blogging. The journal was a place for my quiet, personal thoughts and reflections...kinda boring in hindsight!
The Fire Award was awarded to me by Holly at www.twinsplusone.com. The rules of the award state that the recipient must list seven things about themselves and then pass the award to 10 other deserving bloggers!
2. I am a college and university grad, who is considering going back to school AGAIN. My husband thinks I'm nuts, but this is the way of the world these days!
4. My favourite music is reggae. People would not normally guess this if they don't know the true me. LOL.
Now on to 10 other Bloggers who are "On Fire..."
I've been blogging a few months now and it has become something I really look forward to. It has become something fun and meaningful in my hectic life. I'd rather sit for a couple of hours at night reading others' blogs, interacting with others, and working out my own thoughts, than sit infront of the tube staring aimlessly at some T.V. show that will most likely put me to sleep.
Recently, while I was away on vacation, I received a "Fire Award" from a fellow blogger who likes to stop in and read about what I've got to say. It's a pretty awesome feeling to know that other people are out there, sharing in my blogging experience. To click on my comments section and see what people have to say is very rewarding.
I used to write in a journal for I'd say over 10 years. The difference between that and this is all the interaction, laughs and exchanging of anecdotes through blogging. The journal was a place for my quiet, personal thoughts and reflections...kinda boring in hindsight!
The Fire Award was awarded to me by Holly at www.twinsplusone.com. The rules of the award state that the recipient must list seven things about themselves and then pass the award to 10 other deserving bloggers!
I don't usually talk about "myself" outside that of being a mother to my preemie babies. Having three premature babies has engulfed my life and has been my main focus, especially on my blog. So here are 7 things my readers probably don't know about me:
1. I usually make up to 4 cups of tea or coffee during my days at home with all three boys. I don't usually finish a single cup and if I do get around to finishing one cup, it's usually more like an "iced coffee" or "iced tea." EW!
3. My return to work is in T minus 20 days and I am excited, but also a little depressed about this. :( I will enjoy getting back out into public with people that don't know me as "the twins' mom," but know me on a professional basis. I will, of course, miss my daily interactions with my babies and oldest son, while they are at daycare and I am busy at work.
4. My favourite music is reggae. People would not normally guess this if they don't know the true me. LOL.
5. My favourite colour is pink in a house filled with blue.
6. I am an Employment counsellor and I love helping people find work, develop a new career path and basically figure out who they are. Most people look at work as a means to an end (moolah,) but many are now trying to figure out who they are, what makes them tick, and then what jobs would be best suited to them. I love helping people with this!
7. If you're familiar with Personality Dimensions or True Colours, you will understand there are four colours: Green, Gold, Orange and Blue. These are "personality" types. I am a Green. I ask a lot of questions, I research, I retain information. "Knowledge is power." I can also be very opinionated because of my Green-ality. :) My "second" colour is Gold. Gold individuals are goal-oriented, dependable and take on leadership roles, among others. You can find out some basics of these colours by clicking here: http://www.theslideprojector.com/pdffiles/learnertypes.pdf or http://users.trytel.com/~jfalt/Temp/pd-full.html
8 Aug 2011
We Survived Our First Family Vacay!
As a family of 3, it was nothing to pack up a few things and take off in our car or crossover. As a family of 5, it takes days of prep work, list writing, losing lists, re-writing lists, shopping for mega boxes of diapers, baby food, formula, packing enough baby bottles, clothing for 5 and on and on! We drive a Grand Caravan, much to my chagrin (bye-bye crossover), and it was packed to the max. We even had to buy 2 roof rack travel bags, which were also stuffed.
We took a long awaited and much needed family getaway up "North" in our province of Ontario. Sitting on a beach or on the dock was something we longed for and my husband and I realized the last time we actually took more than a week to ourselves was our own honeymoon 4 years ago! How sad is that?? In these 4 years, we've spent so much time in hospitals, at home or in doctor's offices and specialist's offices, that time has been one big blur and vacationless.
I drove the 500+ kilometres there and back. The whole way I was worried about losing one of the roof top bags, but things were strapped down very well! Aside from that worry, my only other worry was how our 3 kids were going to cope with over 5 hours of driving. We learned that our 3 boys have no problem with long drives, no motion sickness and they were so calm and patient. Our oldest son, the only one that talks as of yet, finally asked "Are we there yet," when we were about 1 hour away from our serene destination. That, I think, is amazing!
We filled our drives with some "I Spy," looking around for moving or still objects along the highways. I had bought our oldest son some of those colourless markers, which only make colour on special paper. Who ever came up with this idea was a GENIUS. I didn't have to worry about ink leaking all over our son's carseat or the van's upholstery when he dropped a marker or two, which he was bound to do...and did. Colouring entertained him a bit. For the most part, however, he was interested in what we were passing by as we drove, what the name of the highway or road was that we were on, he talked about things he saw and was an awesome kid the whole way.
The back area of the van was packed with as much stuff as possible, while keeping it as safe as possible. The stow and go carseats in the back of the van are a Godsend (most people that know me will be shocked to hear me praising this vehicle)! If we didn't have that extra space to pack, we would have had to have a trailer attached to our beast of a van. Our oldest son thought it was hilarious when he was in the back row looking at all the "stuff" surrounding him.
We were able to take our twins to the beach for the first time, which was so wonderful. At 15 months, the twins have just finally figured out how to sit without support, so they'd sit there for hours sometimes, watching what was happening in the water or on the beach, and flirting with all the ladies that walked up to them and started cooing at them. They had their fair share of sand splattered in their faces by an over-excited older brother. One of the twins did a face plant into the shallow water he was sitting in and that was the end of that! Other than that, our vacay went off without a hitch.
The babies sleep amazingly well anywhere we go and they did the same on this vacation. Even without the comforts of their own cribs and darkened bedroom, they were able to adapt to the playpens we asked them to sleep in and the not so dark bedroom that was theirs for a week.
We took a long awaited and much needed family getaway up "North" in our province of Ontario. Sitting on a beach or on the dock was something we longed for and my husband and I realized the last time we actually took more than a week to ourselves was our own honeymoon 4 years ago! How sad is that?? In these 4 years, we've spent so much time in hospitals, at home or in doctor's offices and specialist's offices, that time has been one big blur and vacationless.
I drove the 500+ kilometres there and back. The whole way I was worried about losing one of the roof top bags, but things were strapped down very well! Aside from that worry, my only other worry was how our 3 kids were going to cope with over 5 hours of driving. We learned that our 3 boys have no problem with long drives, no motion sickness and they were so calm and patient. Our oldest son, the only one that talks as of yet, finally asked "Are we there yet," when we were about 1 hour away from our serene destination. That, I think, is amazing!
We filled our drives with some "I Spy," looking around for moving or still objects along the highways. I had bought our oldest son some of those colourless markers, which only make colour on special paper. Who ever came up with this idea was a GENIUS. I didn't have to worry about ink leaking all over our son's carseat or the van's upholstery when he dropped a marker or two, which he was bound to do...and did. Colouring entertained him a bit. For the most part, however, he was interested in what we were passing by as we drove, what the name of the highway or road was that we were on, he talked about things he saw and was an awesome kid the whole way.
The back area of the van was packed with as much stuff as possible, while keeping it as safe as possible. The stow and go carseats in the back of the van are a Godsend (most people that know me will be shocked to hear me praising this vehicle)! If we didn't have that extra space to pack, we would have had to have a trailer attached to our beast of a van. Our oldest son thought it was hilarious when he was in the back row looking at all the "stuff" surrounding him.
We were able to take our twins to the beach for the first time, which was so wonderful. At 15 months, the twins have just finally figured out how to sit without support, so they'd sit there for hours sometimes, watching what was happening in the water or on the beach, and flirting with all the ladies that walked up to them and started cooing at them. They had their fair share of sand splattered in their faces by an over-excited older brother. One of the twins did a face plant into the shallow water he was sitting in and that was the end of that! Other than that, our vacay went off without a hitch.
The babies sleep amazingly well anywhere we go and they did the same on this vacation. Even without the comforts of their own cribs and darkened bedroom, they were able to adapt to the playpens we asked them to sleep in and the not so dark bedroom that was theirs for a week.
Our oldest son got to have his first boat ride and became a fisherman. 3 generations of fishermen enjoyed many hours on the lake together. This is the start of a wonderful, new family tradition. Next year there will be two new little fishermen ready with their own fishing poles.
26 Jul 2011
Thanks to Modern Technology We Are One Year Corrected!
Today my twins are 1 year corrected. This means my babies were actually due a year ago today, making this their "correct" age, had they been born at term. In actuality, they are about to hit 15 months old in just a few days.
Today is a day I reflect on where we were just a year ago. We were 87 days into a very trying experience. Baby B was scheduled for his VP Shunt insertion surgery for day 89. His second surgery. It was a constant waiting game.
Knowing surgery is coming and that it's inevitible can be extremely stressful on a parent and it was in my husband's and my case. Very early on we agreed not to discuss the "what if's" and dread the unknown. We knew that we had to remain as positive as possible; think positive and positive things should follow. We told family very early on that we did not want to discuss "negatives" on a regular basis and we all had to focus on things one day at a time. To imagine what could happen or where we may or may not be in a year's time would not help anything. We also made it known that we would not be calling each and every family member every evening with updates. "No news is good news."
I'm kind of a superstitious person and I felt that if we focused too often on the scary and terrible things that were happening, then only bad things would follow. I also figured that if we were constantly sharing these stories with friends and family, they would begin to worry, pity the babies and be sending negative energy. It may sound ridiculous or hocus pocus to some, but that's how I felt and still do! :)
By this time one year ago, our babies had graduated into cribs. Actual cribs! To walk into the NICU after months of seeing your baby in incubators and suddenly see them in their cribs is an amazing feeling! It can bring a mother or father to tears. Good tears.
Recently someone I know had to write an essay on the question along the lines of, "What piece of modern day technology has impacted you most?" As soon as this question was mentioned to me, I immediately thought, "The incubator." Others would say, the computer, my Blackberry/iPhone, the camera, etc.
The incubator, these days usually referred to as the isolette, is what helped to save my 3 sons' lives. It was one of the biggest tools to help my children grow and become strong enough to come home, when my body could no longer do that for them.
The incubator for babies was created after the incubator concept for incubating and hatching chicken eggs. Fittingly, I've always referred to my sons as my "Spring Chicks"--all due in July, yet arriving in springtime.
As indicated on wikipedia, the incubator can assist with the following:
Today is a day I reflect on where we were just a year ago. We were 87 days into a very trying experience. Baby B was scheduled for his VP Shunt insertion surgery for day 89. His second surgery. It was a constant waiting game.
Knowing surgery is coming and that it's inevitible can be extremely stressful on a parent and it was in my husband's and my case. Very early on we agreed not to discuss the "what if's" and dread the unknown. We knew that we had to remain as positive as possible; think positive and positive things should follow. We told family very early on that we did not want to discuss "negatives" on a regular basis and we all had to focus on things one day at a time. To imagine what could happen or where we may or may not be in a year's time would not help anything. We also made it known that we would not be calling each and every family member every evening with updates. "No news is good news."
I'm kind of a superstitious person and I felt that if we focused too often on the scary and terrible things that were happening, then only bad things would follow. I also figured that if we were constantly sharing these stories with friends and family, they would begin to worry, pity the babies and be sending negative energy. It may sound ridiculous or hocus pocus to some, but that's how I felt and still do! :)
By this time one year ago, our babies had graduated into cribs. Actual cribs! To walk into the NICU after months of seeing your baby in incubators and suddenly see them in their cribs is an amazing feeling! It can bring a mother or father to tears. Good tears.
Recently someone I know had to write an essay on the question along the lines of, "What piece of modern day technology has impacted you most?" As soon as this question was mentioned to me, I immediately thought, "The incubator." Others would say, the computer, my Blackberry/iPhone, the camera, etc.
The incubator, these days usually referred to as the isolette, is what helped to save my 3 sons' lives. It was one of the biggest tools to help my children grow and become strong enough to come home, when my body could no longer do that for them.
The incubator for babies was created after the incubator concept for incubating and hatching chicken eggs. Fittingly, I've always referred to my sons as my "Spring Chicks"--all due in July, yet arriving in springtime.
As indicated on wikipedia, the incubator can assist with the following:
- Oxygenation: through oxygen supplementation by head hood or nasal cannula, or even continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) or mechanical ventilation. Infant respiratory distress syndrome is the leading cause of death in preterm infants, and the main treatments are CPAP, in addition to administering surfactant and stabilizing the blood sugar, blood salts, and blood pressure.
- Observation: Modern neonatal intensive care involves sophisticated measurement of temperature, respiration, cardiac function, oxygenation, and brain activity.
- Protection from cold temperature, infection, noise, drafts and excess handling. Incubators may be described as bassinets enclosed in plastic, with climate control equipment designed to keep them warm and limit their exposure to germs.
- Provision of nutrition, through intravenous catheter or NG tube.
- Administration of medications.
- Maintaining fluid balance by providing fluid and keeping a high air humidity to prevent too great a loss from skin and respiratory evaporation.
A very clear and excellent description of the incubator and its importance in a premature child's life can be found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incubator_(neonatal)#Incubator.
In reflection, I think of the story of my paternal grandmother, who was born weighing about 2 lbs. At that time incubators were not widely used and she was kept alive by use of the warm coal from the kitchen stove. She is a petite little lady, at the height of about 4'10" and she is proud to tell the story of how she was born and survived. Her mother did not know she was pregnant. She reminded me of this many times when I was growing up and again when our "2 pounders" arrived.
Today our twins are 19 lbs and 6 oz (Baby A) and 18 lbs 5 oz (Baby B.) That's a long way from their original 2 lbs and with much, much thanks to the modern technology of today, particularly the incubator!
Happy 1 year corrected to my little men!
23 Jul 2011
Weekend Hopping
Starting to see some promise from blog hopping. It's taking a little while to see how it all works, but it's getting to be pretty fun!
Leave a message if you've stopped by. Remember how we used to get so excited when we'd get a new email in our inbox back in the day? Well getting a new comment on my blog feels just like that! LOL. :)
22 Jul 2011
"Discharge"--A spectacular word!
So the time has finally come to bring your baby or babies home. You may have spent four days or you may have spent a hundred or more days. Whatever the number, you are ready to go home and you've probably been dreaming of the most beautiful words, "You can take your baby home."
You have most likely been trying to wait, as patiently as possible, for this day to come. You will probably have the urge to just get up, get that baby in the carseat and run for the doors before they change their mind (possibly having already happened in the past.)
It is hard for a preemie parent to believe the staff that a discharge is really happening, until the baby is safely clicked into the backseat and you are actually driving off hospital property!
If you've ever seen the Ikea sale commercial where the woman thinks a mistake has been made as she walks out the doors with her arms full, running for the car in the parking lot, hollering, "Start the car! Start the carrrrr!!" A preemie mom kind of gets this overwhelming feeling and that she needs to get out of there lickity split before someone changes their mind!
It is true that often the discharge date spoken of comes and goes. My suggestion is to try to avoid discussing a date for discharge too often, as the staff never know when a "hiccup" may come about and it can be extremely disappointing to get ready to leave, only to be told your baby is not going anywhere today. I personally think it is best to keep a general timeframe in mind as to when you think your baby may be well enough to go home. You, as a parent, will get to know your child and I think mothers also have a personal intuition as to when that date is nearing.
Another suggestion I can give is that if you feel your baby is ready to go home, but the doctors haven't given the okay and you're not sure why, make sure you ask why. Get the facts. Listen to them and don't be afraid to question some choices if you feel something doesn't make sense to you. As a parent, you probably know your baby best than any of the professionals who have been helping along the way. Staff changes every few days, people go on holidays and sometimes you don't see some staff members for weeks at a time, making you the one constant person by your baby's side.
I'm not saying that you should try to rush your baby out the door, but for you to be educated about why some choices are made and to ensure you feel like you understand the reasoning why your child is possibly not yet ready to go home.
My first preemie was pretty much a perfect, step-by-step, quick out the door NICU stay. He was discharged at 35 weeks after 3 weeks and 5 days' temporary residence in a Level III and then Level II NICU. I had barely gotten to know the staff and then out the door we went.
My second preemie (AKA: Twin A) came home almost at his EDD (Estimated Due Date)--about "5 days corrected." For this baby, I had to talk a lot to staff about taking him home. I had to ask why he was still there when he was doing so well, he was feeding perfectly, he was growing quickly. I pretty much had to state my case as to why I felt he should be discharged and sent home. I was starting to feel like I should be a lawyer for my next career.
Given the fact that I had a previous premature baby, I know this helped the staff develop confidence in me and my ability to take care of Twin A once he was home. For me, bringing home one baby would help me out in the long run, as I was balancing NICU life with the outside family life. Having a two-year-old being bounced around from grandparent to grandparent, house to house, was taxing on this littly guy. To bring his one brother home would be a start in the right direction to getting a little taste of reality. It also would enable me to transition into life with babies at home again and get our oldest son accustomed to a baby around. Once Twin A was discharged I would be able to look after him when I wasn't in the NICU with Twin B and my very supportive mother or mother-in-law would watch Twin A during the day, while I ran back and forth to look after and check on Twin B. He did get discharged after lots of work and compromise.
Preemie number 3 (Twin B) continued to hang out in the NICU for three more weeks following the discharge of his "older" brother. He was a tricky one, this little boy! He had VP shunt surgery just a few days before Twin A went home. He was doing so well at the time of the surgery and the doctors on at that time were confident he'd go home within a couple of days of his surgery.
Remember how I said, don't believe it until it's actually happening? Well Twin B was not discharged a few days after his surgery because he suddenly forgot how to suck, breathe, swallow when nursing or bottling. This little boy had been better at breastfeeding than his "older" brother and he suddenly forgot how to. He was doing amazingly well up until about 48 hours after surgery, when he just got pooped out. The doctors felt perhaps he had been rushed to get back to full feeds, which was a combination of bottling and nursing. So after 48 hours he began to gag and cough, choke and sputter his way through his feedings. It was disheartening. He was having such a rough time that the concern began to be that he'd aspirate and then have a major problem.
To think we were so close to going home, when all of a sudden things just changed. That's life in a NICU. He ended up having to go back to feedings by a NG tube, which really sucked to see. For a couple of days he got his feeds just through the NG, to give him some time to recuperate and rest. We didn't want feeding time to be stressful on his body or on anyone else trying to feed him, so the NG tube served a good purpose at that time.
The NG tube is one of those things that you don't want to rely on too long if you can avoid it. Twin B still had his NG 2 weeks later, which was beginning to get to me. He was not having every feed by NG any longer, but I was determined to really get to the point that the NG was a back up plan. He was still coughing and sputtering through many of his feeds, but with some hard work the NG came out a few days later. He was still up and down with his weight gain, which is why he was having to remain in the hospital. He was also still in isolation, which I speak of in a previous posting. My opinion was that with a NG tube, me trying to nurse him when hooked up to the numerous wires, all the while wearing gloves and gown, we were robbing my baby of a natural feeding process. I spoke about this with his neonatologist at the time and low and behold...he agreed! Off came the gloves while nursing him, out came the NG tube. The baby was to prove himself over the next few days. He had some great weight gains and then not so great gains. He didn't lose weight, so that was a good thing. Had he started to lose weight he would have had the NG tube put back in. Finally, 3 weeks after his surgery, he was discharged and I brought him home! He came home with a NG, "just in case." But overall that day was nothing but relief! That was the longest 112 days of my life.
Once your baby is discharged from the hospital it can be like going into the great unknown. You don't know if you'll be back again due to an unforseen complication or if you'll go on without any new hiccups. As a parent you are now left to fend for yourself and learn the ups and downs of having a baby--a premature baby--outside of a hospital. It can be a scary and draining experience. So my final recommendation here is to ensure that you have all the support you can get from family, friends, co-workers, neighbours...where ever you can find help do your best to get it.
The best part of discharge is taking your baby (babies) home and seeing them snuggled in their own bassinets, free of leads, blinking lights and constant beeping all around.
You have most likely been trying to wait, as patiently as possible, for this day to come. You will probably have the urge to just get up, get that baby in the carseat and run for the doors before they change their mind (possibly having already happened in the past.)
It is hard for a preemie parent to believe the staff that a discharge is really happening, until the baby is safely clicked into the backseat and you are actually driving off hospital property!
If you've ever seen the Ikea sale commercial where the woman thinks a mistake has been made as she walks out the doors with her arms full, running for the car in the parking lot, hollering, "Start the car! Start the carrrrr!!" A preemie mom kind of gets this overwhelming feeling and that she needs to get out of there lickity split before someone changes their mind!
It is true that often the discharge date spoken of comes and goes. My suggestion is to try to avoid discussing a date for discharge too often, as the staff never know when a "hiccup" may come about and it can be extremely disappointing to get ready to leave, only to be told your baby is not going anywhere today. I personally think it is best to keep a general timeframe in mind as to when you think your baby may be well enough to go home. You, as a parent, will get to know your child and I think mothers also have a personal intuition as to when that date is nearing.
Another suggestion I can give is that if you feel your baby is ready to go home, but the doctors haven't given the okay and you're not sure why, make sure you ask why. Get the facts. Listen to them and don't be afraid to question some choices if you feel something doesn't make sense to you. As a parent, you probably know your baby best than any of the professionals who have been helping along the way. Staff changes every few days, people go on holidays and sometimes you don't see some staff members for weeks at a time, making you the one constant person by your baby's side.
I'm not saying that you should try to rush your baby out the door, but for you to be educated about why some choices are made and to ensure you feel like you understand the reasoning why your child is possibly not yet ready to go home.
My first preemie was pretty much a perfect, step-by-step, quick out the door NICU stay. He was discharged at 35 weeks after 3 weeks and 5 days' temporary residence in a Level III and then Level II NICU. I had barely gotten to know the staff and then out the door we went.
My second preemie (AKA: Twin A) came home almost at his EDD (Estimated Due Date)--about "5 days corrected." For this baby, I had to talk a lot to staff about taking him home. I had to ask why he was still there when he was doing so well, he was feeding perfectly, he was growing quickly. I pretty much had to state my case as to why I felt he should be discharged and sent home. I was starting to feel like I should be a lawyer for my next career.
Given the fact that I had a previous premature baby, I know this helped the staff develop confidence in me and my ability to take care of Twin A once he was home. For me, bringing home one baby would help me out in the long run, as I was balancing NICU life with the outside family life. Having a two-year-old being bounced around from grandparent to grandparent, house to house, was taxing on this littly guy. To bring his one brother home would be a start in the right direction to getting a little taste of reality. It also would enable me to transition into life with babies at home again and get our oldest son accustomed to a baby around. Once Twin A was discharged I would be able to look after him when I wasn't in the NICU with Twin B and my very supportive mother or mother-in-law would watch Twin A during the day, while I ran back and forth to look after and check on Twin B. He did get discharged after lots of work and compromise.
Preemie number 3 (Twin B) continued to hang out in the NICU for three more weeks following the discharge of his "older" brother. He was a tricky one, this little boy! He had VP shunt surgery just a few days before Twin A went home. He was doing so well at the time of the surgery and the doctors on at that time were confident he'd go home within a couple of days of his surgery.
Remember how I said, don't believe it until it's actually happening? Well Twin B was not discharged a few days after his surgery because he suddenly forgot how to suck, breathe, swallow when nursing or bottling. This little boy had been better at breastfeeding than his "older" brother and he suddenly forgot how to. He was doing amazingly well up until about 48 hours after surgery, when he just got pooped out. The doctors felt perhaps he had been rushed to get back to full feeds, which was a combination of bottling and nursing. So after 48 hours he began to gag and cough, choke and sputter his way through his feedings. It was disheartening. He was having such a rough time that the concern began to be that he'd aspirate and then have a major problem.
To think we were so close to going home, when all of a sudden things just changed. That's life in a NICU. He ended up having to go back to feedings by a NG tube, which really sucked to see. For a couple of days he got his feeds just through the NG, to give him some time to recuperate and rest. We didn't want feeding time to be stressful on his body or on anyone else trying to feed him, so the NG tube served a good purpose at that time.
The NG tube is one of those things that you don't want to rely on too long if you can avoid it. Twin B still had his NG 2 weeks later, which was beginning to get to me. He was not having every feed by NG any longer, but I was determined to really get to the point that the NG was a back up plan. He was still coughing and sputtering through many of his feeds, but with some hard work the NG came out a few days later. He was still up and down with his weight gain, which is why he was having to remain in the hospital. He was also still in isolation, which I speak of in a previous posting. My opinion was that with a NG tube, me trying to nurse him when hooked up to the numerous wires, all the while wearing gloves and gown, we were robbing my baby of a natural feeding process. I spoke about this with his neonatologist at the time and low and behold...he agreed! Off came the gloves while nursing him, out came the NG tube. The baby was to prove himself over the next few days. He had some great weight gains and then not so great gains. He didn't lose weight, so that was a good thing. Had he started to lose weight he would have had the NG tube put back in. Finally, 3 weeks after his surgery, he was discharged and I brought him home! He came home with a NG, "just in case." But overall that day was nothing but relief! That was the longest 112 days of my life.
Once your baby is discharged from the hospital it can be like going into the great unknown. You don't know if you'll be back again due to an unforseen complication or if you'll go on without any new hiccups. As a parent you are now left to fend for yourself and learn the ups and downs of having a baby--a premature baby--outside of a hospital. It can be a scary and draining experience. So my final recommendation here is to ensure that you have all the support you can get from family, friends, co-workers, neighbours...where ever you can find help do your best to get it.
The best part of discharge is taking your baby (babies) home and seeing them snuggled in their own bassinets, free of leads, blinking lights and constant beeping all around.
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