Recently I was chatting to a couple of co-workers about the challenge some people face with letting go of their "ideals," when something in their life is really telling them, "it's just not going to happen." Kind of like chasing that dreamboat guy, who is just "not that into you." It is hard to let a dream die and move on.
It could be a long held belief or ideal that you will step-by-step become a lawyer or a doctor. Or you will get married on a beautiful, sunny day. Instead, you find you cannot afford the schooling it takes to become a lawyer or you don't have the stamina to work 24 hour long shifts in a hospital setting, yet you still hold onto the dream--even if you stop pursuing it for a while, figuring you'll get back to it some day. Or you wake up on the day of your wedding day, to dark skies and storm clouds moving in fast. You can either cry about it, or suck it up and listen to those that tell you the myth that rain on a wedding day is good luck. You can let go of the dream and focus on new options or you can get stuck in a rut and depression, wishing for something that cannot be and in turn losing focus of the most important thing...yourself.
As I was pinning along one evening this week, I came across a quotation, as though someone knew what I had just talked about with my friends. The quote, "We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to live the life that is waiting for us." This is what brought on my post tonight. I love this quote. I can relate to it in many ways.
The main way this quote really hits home, is when I think about my sadness at the loss of some of my dreams and expectations when my babies, the twins in particular, were born so prematurely. It seems silly to me now, but at that time because my head was reeling with so many what ifs and fears, I was somewhat upset that my twin boys may never get to play baseball together. I had always envisioned them running the bases together on a nice sunny day! When the twins were born, I was suddenly faced with the thought that they may not ever walk...maybe not even live. At that time I made the quick decision to stop focusing on the coulda beens and focus on them right then and there at that moment and figure out how to help them get through this unexpected--never dreamed of--situation. If I had not been able to make this decision, I could have fallen into a deep depression, which wouldn't have been good for anyone involved at that very difficult time. At that time of our lives, my husband and I had made the decision to try to focus on the positives, think positive and the promise of the future.
The life of the NICU is all about one step forward and two steps back and going with the flow. Make Plan A, Plan B and probably even a Plan C to be prepared. The thing with this is, there will never be a perfect plan. I personally believe the best way to get through the NICU is to keep maintaining an open mind, communicate with the specialists working with your babies, let your needs and hopes be known, but at the same time continue to be flexible, as not everything will go "according to plan..."
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